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Remy: Horrifying Tweets Resurface



Remy returns to the news desk to bring you what passes for journalism these days.

Written and Performed by Remy.
Music tracks mastered by Ben Karlstrom.
Produced and Edited by Austin Bragg.

LYRICS:

Trudeau denies the report. Ed?
A rough week for Canada’s first black prime minister. Thanks, Tim.

A problem long posed, now finally an answer
A cure has been found to a rare form of cancer.
We’ll tell you who found it, what he thinks this means,
And dig up some tweets from his early teens.

Plus the Good Samaritan, whose quickness and breadth
Saved a family of four from a fiery death.
We’ll ask how he did it, how he made it in time,
And why he tweeted this back in 2009.

Uh, Ed? Yes, Tim. Forgive the defiance
But I think we should focus on the news part, the science
And not what they tweeted back when they were 10
The science, hmm. I’ll try it again.

Archaeologists have unearthed a series of tweets
Made by this local hero when he was 13.
Will this middle-school tweet soon mean his demise?
Our report might just win the Pulitzer Prize.

Pulitzer Prize? In what? Scrolling down?
We found immature things immature people wrote down.
Our country’s at war and that’s the story we sought?
War coverage, yes—I’ll give it a shot.

This Navy SEAL unit is now under fire
For a series of tweets, we’ll take our magnifier
And pay no attention to how their recent life’s been
And tell you what you should think that says about them.

Says about them? What’s it say about us?
That the first thing we do after someone’s discussed
Is comb through their childhood looking for dirt.
OK, I can do this, I assure you I’m cured.

Well she’s the first woman to serve on the board
Of our town’s city council—and she just signed an accord.
We’ll comb through the details of what she did write
And through years of her tweets in hopes of wrecking her life.

OK, see, I hate this, this is just what we do
Make things controversial for clicks and for views.
When we’re covering news, should our first thought each time
Be “Let’s find what they tweeted back when they were nine”?

Finally, millions can now walk thanks to his prosthesis
But a hateful hand signal when he was a fetus
Leads many to now question what he promotes.
We’ll toss him in a well and see if he floats.

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Josh Smith
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Josh Smith

Just got a recommended video in my feed from CNN "Trump mocked Kamala Harris on Twitter. She hit back". Hard hitting news as always.

Ear Rapist
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Ear Rapist

this is amazing

Wade Hobbs
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Wade Hobbs

The amazing Remy!

Zach May
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Zach May

Why does Remy go after CNN so much? Is Fox too easy for them?

Cemetery of Choice
Guest
Cemetery of Choice

Remy — I have a FB friend (LONG story why I'm friends with this woman at all) who dismisses any and all evidence of wrongdoing by Planned Parenthood by dismissing it as old news, stuff that happened so long ago that prolifers just show their true colors by not just letting go of it. Then I thought — Why don't you do a "Let It Go" video about how all the stuff Planned Parenthood has done, like covering up child sexual abuse, committing malpractice, being founded on racist principles, etc, is old stuff. We should let it go. I'll play… Read more »

Gamercharizardx
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Gamercharizardx

You can’t just repost CNN!

Dave Larsen
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Dave Larsen

Remy, you are a national treasure

YodaEconomics
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YodaEconomics

Do I have to say it? Do I have to say it? Remy is a national treasure.

furtim1
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furtim1

"US Troops abandon place we rarely cover' – That scroll requires its own view!

Perry Widhalm
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Perry Widhalm

Excellent …. just fucking excellent.

Deacon Parsons
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Deacon Parsons

Remy, have you done a Beto Bandito video? A La Frito Bandito commercials of the 1960s? It would be great….

Mark Moore
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Mark Moore

Scary realistic

testdummy007
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testdummy007

I would have taken a good 10 minutes of that 🙂

Aaron Reichert
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Aaron Reichert

Who writes these things, every freaking line is gold

parkhays117
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parkhays117

I want to show this to one of my liberal college professors, but I don't want to be crucified. Any suggestions?

Free The Birds
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Free The Birds

McCarthyism 2019: Are you now, or have you ever been a teenager?

Trumpocalypse Now
Guest
Trumpocalypse Now

Lulz.

dafrailjew
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dafrailjew

'UKRAINIAN GAS CONGLOMERATE ANNOUNCES NEW DIRECTOR, SPOT BIDEN, DOG OF FORMER VICE PRRSIDENT …'

Ben Corley
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Ben Corley

National. Treasure.

Jeronimo Tamayo Lopera
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Jeronimo Tamayo Lopera

REMY 2024.

Forest Dog
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Forest Dog

Love! Love! Love!

Jason Kessler
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Jason Kessler

Remy is a National Treasure.

Life of Sawdust
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Life of Sawdust

Im not sure why anyone has a twitter anymore.

Clint Mitchell
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Clint Mitchell

My god that was awesome! Nothing about it sucked. Well done.

Merlin 69
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Merlin 69

👌🏻

TheSysops666
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TheSysops666

Can't be CNN, way too honest.

Octavio Bannach
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Octavio Bannach

"trated blastoise for charlizard? you got GYPPED!!"

Daniel Taylor
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Daniel Taylor

"trump administration imposes tariffs on incoming asteroid"

Spencer Graham-Thille
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Spencer Graham-Thille

"Climate activists deflated as interpretive dance fails to heal planet.". 😁

Parker Harman
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Parker Harman

I'm a die hard liberal but the 'holier than tho' attitude that many liberals have is ridiculous (not to mention embarrassing for our political brand)

bm ak
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bm ak

That ultrasound though! Lol

bm ak
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bm ak

Dave Chappelle!!!

DeJake
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DeJake

I enjoy the lyrics and acting so much I never even noticed the bottom scrolling ticker

Master Hand
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Master Hand

These news themed songs are my favorite.

Shannon
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Shannon

A hateful hand signal when he was a fetus😂😂😂😂😂

bobby ricky
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bobby ricky

Share this video around guys, the view count is far too low.

Thomas Rogers
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Thomas Rogers

Where have you been???!?!!??!?

Jack Rodarte
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Jack Rodarte

He rhymed "9" twice. Just sayin.
Love these videos!

Doctor Quackenbush
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Doctor Quackenbush

Too true and too sad.

Mobuggyy McBentley
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Mobuggyy McBentley

I had to watch the video twice to read the banner at the bottom. Hilarious.

Biff Henderson
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Biff Henderson

It is interesting how they want to judge the good people of today based on their opinions or actions that occurred decades ago.I wonder… Will this judging occur of women after abortion becomes illegal?  Will the judges seek out all women who had abortions and verbally out them in the center of the town square?  Perhaps also the doctors and anyone found associated with abortion using the handy "Bacon Factor" tool?  Lol.  So sad to watch the judges.  But it would certainly be funny to turn the tables on each of them.  Who among us has not been perfect?  It's okay to… Read more »

OutOfSight123
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OutOfSight123

Damn, I literally fell for the videos title! (shows how ridiculously true the concept is lol)